Not Enough

My third intended blog post for this night (2/5/10) - actually it's already 12:19 AM so it should be the next day - is not going to be that positive. Depression, I shall say this again, is sure worse than writer's block.

Sometimes, even if we try our best, we can never assume that we are the best. Even if you work your hardest, the final product won't always give justice to the volume of sweat, blood and tears you purge out of yourself. It's not always like that. It won't always work out. You can't always earn what you die for. You can't always get what you deserve.

For the most part, I'm trying. That should count for something. Still, I'm here stuck in a cycle of disappointment.

I just want to be the only thing you need, you want, but how can I when he can take my place without breaking a sweat? Everytime he steals my spot, I die inside myself. Am I not enough to satiate you?

† Jofer

Alone Again

The hardest part about being a writer is the curse of lonliness that comes naturally to a profession that waits years before it bears any fruit, if any at all. Writing, I think, qualifies as a measure of the writer's faith in his skills, in himself and in everything else in general. There's a lingering uncertainty as to whether we make it to the end or not, the latter most often achieved because of a number of things even if you don't even try to fail, which makes for a bitter gamble at the end of the day. Do I continue writing for writing's sake? I guess, at this point in time, I can't say anything but yes. I'm still figuring things out, with my first rejection just days ago, but I feel as if I can't do anything else but write to save my life. Even if lonliness will be the only company I'll have (aside from coffee, insomnia, writer's block and mountains of drafts), it'll all be worth it. Life is all about trying. You lose when you snooze.

† Jofer